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10 Worst Arcade Games Of All Time
In a recent article called "Arcade Games Didn't Vanish After 1984", I covered some of the best games released after the video game crash in 1984. I listed 22 games in total, each deserving of recognition in the history of video arcade games. But unfortunately, not all of the arcade games released have been so good. In fact, some of them just stink like dirty socks, to put it mildly.
Here are the top 10 worst arcade games ever released in order of 10th worst to the worst ever. Here goes:
10) Name That Tune, Bally Sente. In the depths of arcade despair after the crash, Bally Sente decided to release Name That Tune, which was based on the 1980s version of the show. Surprisingly, arcade goers, mostly teens and early 20s folks, weren't all that enthusiastic to play a music guessing game based mostly on 40s and 50s tunes. The worst part was that the game had horrible synthesized music, which made recognition of the tunes almost impossible for even those people that knew the songs. It was a commercial failure.
9) Street Fighter: The Movie, Incredible Technologies. A great game, turned into a bad movie, turned into a bad game. Sure, the graphics looked nice and represented the characters from the movie, but the game control was awful, and there was no playability like there was in the real game. Avoid this one.
8) Kozmik Krooz'r, Bally Midway. Boy, is this game bad. A bad concept, bad graphics, and bad game play doomed this game to unpopularity. However, Wacko was spawned from this game, and Wacko wasn't too bad.
7) Time Traveler, Sega. This was supposed to be the greatest holography arcade machine ever and was supposed to be destined for greatness. The holography looks great, but the game was boring and poorly acted. Oh well, at least Sega had Holoseum to fall back on...
6) Journey, Bally Midway. I'm a bit mixed on this one. The game is based on one of the best rock bands of all time, but plays so bad that it had to be included. The attempt to scan in the band members' faces looked terrible with the faces in black & white and the bodies in color. The tunes sound very little like the real songs, and the game play is poor, so this one appeals only to the hard core "Journey Fan Arcade Collectors".
5) Kangaroo, Atari. You know, Kangaroo could have been an interesting game. It's a lot like Donkey Kong and came out in the time that this type of game was quite successful. Problem is, the game controls are terrible. The music could sour even the most staunch arcade fan quickly, and the theme... well, you're a kangaroo.
4) Mouse Trap, Exidy. While this game was included in the 1982 Pac-Man Fever album by Buckner & Garcia, they might have quite possibly been the only fans of this game - anywhere. A Pac-Man rip off, there wasn't much in this one to keep people interested. Here's what I'll say about this one... "I could turn into a dog if I only had a bone, And could press the "doggie button"; they would leave me all alone. I could make the hawk turn stupid if I entered into "in"; I could block and trap the cats and turn into a mouse again." 'Nuff said, this one sucks.
3) Motorace USA, Irem. I don't care how many times they showed this game on Starcade, it still sucks. It's about like playing the handheld game "Mattel Auto Racing", except there is no justification for the lack of game play on a machine with about 10,000,000 times the processing power of a handheld VFD game. This one's a "must miss".
2) Pro Soccer, Data East. If this was the only arcade game arcade game left in the world, and I could only play this game or none at all, I would play it... only because I know that at one time, a worst game existed. This game is about as exciting as watching grass grow. Scratch that, watching grass grow might actually be more fun. Bad graphics, bad controls, bad sounds, bad everything. But take heart, Data East, this still isn't the worst arcade game ever. That dubious honor goes to...
1) Spy Hunter II, Bally Midway. Without question, the worst sequel ever for any arcade game. No sequel before or after it will ever suck this much. Spy Hunter was one of the best, most memorable games from the Golden Era, and to this day still spawns sequels and compilations with the original game in them. This game destroyed the original overhead game by changing it into a 3-D above-the-car perspective, and ruined the control, sounds, game play, and just about everything else. There's just no way around it, Spy Hunter II is simply the worst game ever. No arcades still route them, no collectors own them (that I can find), no compilations have this game on them, hell, even MAME gets pissed just to have to run it from time to time when curious parties want to see what all of the bellyaching about it was all about. Congrats to Bally Midway, makers of the worst arcade game ever - Spy Hunter II!
What will 2007 bring to the arcades? Spy Hunter III? Mortal Kombat: The Movie? Kangaroo 2? If we're all lucky, they'll never see the light of day. I sleep better at night knowing that these games will never again stare back at me in any arcade, laundromat, restaurant, fun park, Wal-Mart or roller skating rink that I step foot into. Thank goodness for companies like Raw Thrills Inc., Stern and Namco that make quality arcade games for the newest arcade generation. R.I.P., top ten, may we never have to endure these games again.
About the Author
Blaine Locklair is the Editor for the High Scores Arcade, an arcade and pinball anthology site. It features articles, a calender, interviews, images, movies, music and sounds, news, tips and tricks, a virtual arcade, a scoreboard and more. Visit the site at www.highscoresarcade.com to get some great arcade and pinball content.
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